Wait

Wait.

The word feels heavy, restrictive, suffocating.  I squirm under its weight.

As a child, I can remember being asked to wait.   To my young ears and heart it meant “stop”.  Honestly it often was used to cease my actions or behavior.  The word was a reprimand.  And I was a curious little girl of motion.

Wait.

My breathing becomes rapid and shallow.  I feel agitated.  In need of movement – NOW!

No surprise, I still find it difficult to wait.  Wait!  Shouldn’t I be able to wait?  After all, I am a mature woman.   Sit serenely.  Stop.  Stand still. Ugh…  Everything in me screams for movement.  It feels like hope.  And yet, I am being asked to…

Wait.

Motionless, immobile, silent – this does not sound peaceful or restful.  AT.  All.

So yes of course, I wonder if my definition of wait is wrong.  I am willing to consider that as an option.  After all, it seems in the Bible, that God thinks it to be a very good thing to wait.  “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.“  (Isaiah 40:31)  A verse I have heard most of my life.  And yes, I do remain a curious spirit.  I checked it out.

Wait.

Remain.  Linger. Draw close.  Respond.  These words pull at the strings of my heart and give me breath!

To wait upon the Lord, supposes a knowledge and reverence of God.  To linger in His presence provides renewed strength. It assists in the performance of duty, to resist temptation and endure affliction and persecutions patiently.  It enables one to focus their affections heavenwards; towards faith, hope and love.  And lastly, it empowers a soul to persevere to the end – swiftly and strongly with delight and pleasure whether you are soaring, running or walking – without fainting.

Wait.

Stopping long enough to take a deep breath; resting, enjoying, talking and strengthening.  Movement!

This will be a year of waiting.   I just might be able to do this new kind of waiting – it sounds so very different.  And that heavy weight…. It is ever so slowly lifting.